Amy's Journey with...

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Saturday, January 5, 2013

A flare and I'll miss you forever

I've been in bed all day in too much pain to move.  I couldn't even hold the book I was reading, which incidentally, is very good.  So for most of the day I've been lying still, drifting in and out of sleep.  For 2012, I had a pain flare two to three times a month, and four times in December.  I made it until January 4th of the new year before I started flaring.  So...I made it a whole four days into the new year.

I have been doing good at keeping a food diary since the new year, all five days of it, and I need to be as diligent with keeping a pain diary.  I intend to keep up on all of my blogs a bit better this month, too.  The best I can do right now is to make monthly goals.  Making a goal for a whole year is just too overwhelming.

Obviously I'm moving now, at least enough to type.  I'm on the couch now, wrapped up in my zebra electric throw that DH (Darling Husband) got me for Christmas, and moving as little as possible.  I've tried some gentle stretches but they seem to only add to the pain.

I've been so frustrated with my hand pain lately.  I want to crochet so bad, but I can't because of the pain.  I see all these beautiful things I want to make on Pinterest and it's driving me nuts to not make them.  If you are interested in crochet, I have a few boards on Pinterest I'd like to recommend:

These aren't all of my crochet boards on Pinterest, but they are the best ones.

Christmas was nice, I was very thankful to have my own family: DH, Sterling, Niki, Katya, and me.  Our kitties are definitely our babies.  We just put up a tiny tree this year so they couldn't knock over anything big, and do a lot of damage.  Of course, they knocked over the small tree a million times.  We had a nice fake tree until a couple of years ago, but Niki climbed it a bunch of times the last time we had it out and she broke off and/or bent beyond repair the wire branches.

DH got me a zebra electric throw, which was perfect for all these flares.  He gave it to me early, well, because of the December flares.  He also gave me a craft knife set I can use for clay, which I want to try, on days that my hands are playing nice and not bitching at me.

I got horrible news from my parents a few days after Christmas.  My dog, who was my best friend growing up, and was there for me no matter what, passed away.  He was one of my soul mates, and I never would have made it through my teen years without him.  Heck, I wouldn't have made it through my favorite Aunt's two bouts of cancer if I hadn't had him to lick away my tears.

I just realized that there are tears streaming down my face.  I'll miss you forever, my puppy dog.

April 17th, 1994

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