Amy's Journey with...

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Going through my spam folder

I've decided to take a trip to a scary place.  This is the part where you go ooooooo!  I'm taking a trip to my spam folder, but don't worry, I'm not opening any of them.  I rarely venture into this no man's land, yet today feel the bravery of ten grinches plus two.  (Can you tell I'm making my Christmas lists?)  So, with this incredible strength comes the incredible ability to laugh at one's self.  So, this is what my spam folder has to offer me...

Ah!  Finally I have the natural mail enhancement I'm looking for.  Now my letters will get there really fast.  Oops, I read that wrong, it's male enhancement.  Hmmm...I don't think I can use that after all.  The next spam doesn't specify whether the penis enlarger is natural or not.  I still don't have a penis so I'm pretty sure I don't need it enlarged.  Okay, now this one is just plain scary.  It's from Accountant's World.  I majored in Accounting for my undergrad and it seriously is scary boring.  I had horrible dreams when I was doing my accounting classes.  In my dreams I didn't know which column to put the numbers in!  It's an accountant's nightmare.  Ah!  There are lots of diet ones.  What are they trying to say about me?  I wish the spammers could see me sticking my tongue out at them.  I'm being offered a Rolex replica.  Can someone tell me the point of having a Rolex replica?  Personally I think you'd either buy a Rolex or buy a cheaper watch.  But, hey, I'm not a spammer, so what do I know?  Yes!  I get the "top 10 lesbian movies!"  I have a feeling they aren't lesbian romances though, but lesbian porn.  Not that I have a problem with porn, but I'd rather watch romances.  I like mushy stuff.  :-)  Oh yes!  I get a cash payment now.  I wonder how much?  Probably a million dollars from a Prince in Nigeria.  I'm not opening any of the junk mail in case I get a virus.  I even won the Irish lottery.  Strange, I don't remember entering.  Someone named Arora just straight up asks me if I "wanna have sex tonight.", I don't want to have sex with you, Arora.  Someone wished me an "unhappy birthday."  I mean WTF is up with that?  Seriously.  I didn't wish them an unhappy birthday.  In Alice and Wonderland they have a happy unbirthday party, but not an unhappy birthday party.  The, ahem, don't laugh, "FBI," told me I'm under arrest.  One email is actually marked "SPAM : Do not ignore this email."  I'm going to be taking a walk on the wild side and ignore the email.  Ooo, baby, someone asked me if I'm looking to get laid tonight.  Not by you, spammer, not by you.  One message subject just says congratulations.  They must be wishing me congratulations in getting into grad school.  How sweet!

I love to periodically go through my spam mail for a laugh.  Sometimes I find mail that wasn't supposed to be there.  Usually, though, I have a good laugh.  Spam always picks up my mood.

Everybody has accounting dreams...right?

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