Amy's Journey with...

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) ~ Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) ~ Focal Impaired Awareness (Complex Partial) Seizures ~ Fibromyalgia ~ Chronic Myofascial Pain (CMP) ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ~ TMJ Dysfunction ~ Bipolar Disorder Type I Rapid Cycling ~ Migraines ~ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ~ Keratosis Pilaris (KP) ~ Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) ~ Panic Disorder ~ Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ~ Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) ~ Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Self-Harm) ~ Piezogenic Pedal Papules ~ Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ~ Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) ~ Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) ~ Specific Phobias ~ Chronic Headaches

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Denial on a brick wall

I am trying so hard to live in denial but things keep happening that make me face reality.  I don't like this!  I want to have a big brick sign built around me that explains I'm in denial so people (or my body) will quit hitting me with reality.  

Reality says: Something is wrong with my bladder, I can only pee sometimes or get a good stream most of the time only by leaning into a certain position.

Brick wall says:  Everyone does that!

Reality says: My fingernails are starting to club.

Brick wall says: Everyone's nails do that around age 30!

Reality says: I need to get my thyroid checked and quit canceling appointments.

Brick wall says: I bet most people have cysts on their thyroid and parathyroid and don't even know it!

Reality says: I am told by my physical therapist I'll always need a walker, if only on bad days.

Brick wall says: By this time next year I bet I can jog two or three miles again!

Reality says: My sister may not want anything to do with me for another 20 years, if ever.

Brick wall says: My sister will realize the abuse she's taking and will love me again and want to be around me.

Reality says: I will dislocate my toes more often if I don't wear socks.

Brick wall says: Everyone dislocates toes when not sleeping in socks!  Duh!

Now, can someone tell me why the damn reality of things keep hitting me and my brick wall keeps getting knocked down?  This is not the purpose of my brick wall!

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