Toes

Toes.  Yes, toes.  I've been dislocating my toes on a daily basis.  I tried sitting down for a serious talk with my toes, but you know how toes and their smart mouths can be.  We didn't get anything done and they are still dislocating.

Don't believe this smile, I bet these toes are as smart mouthed as mine!

I even have to get up now in the night to put my toes back in.  Wow.  I feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland and I'm falling down a dark tunnel called "Life with EDS."  There is nothing to grab onto and I keep falling in the deep dark abyss until the demon called EDS morphs me until all my joints will start dislocating.  A year ago, just after being diagnosed with EDS, I listened to a YouTube video in which the "star" mentioned getting up all night to put dislocated joints back into place.  I couldn't imagine my EDS ever being that bad, and I was pretty sure it wouldn 't be.  Someone who dislocates large joints on a regular basis may find my blog entry about toe dislocations whiny and stupid.  I am not being whiny though, I'm being scared.  I don't know what to do.  Can I inject my toes with super glue?  I really think that would work for small joints.  I don't care if I lose some mobility as long as I can keep the joint in place.  I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I may be onto something.  I am really, really scared and without my very best friend Vanessa I would have lost my mind by now.  She doesn't realize how brave she is.  I hope she will someday.  I cannot express how scared I am without crying hard, as it is I'm crying already.  What will happen to me?  Will I start dislocating large joints?  Can I stop it from happening?  It seems everything I learn about EDS is bad stuff.  I hate having EDS but, I try to look to the positive.  I can say that I never would have met Vanessa and my other Twitter & FB friends otherwise and I think having EDS will make me stronger in the long run.  I just don't feel very strong right now.